


No Such Thing

by Interestingpumpkin



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Depression, F/M, Fairy Tale Curses, Happy Ending, Magic, Memory Loss, Past Relationship(s), Second Chances, Song fic, True Love's Kiss, Witch Curses, Witches, brief descriptions of violence, mild violence, non graphic descriptions of death, self doubt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-20
Updated: 2019-06-20
Packaged: 2020-05-15 14:58:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,186
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19298074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Interestingpumpkin/pseuds/Interestingpumpkin
Summary: You and Bucky broke up two years ago and you haven't seen him or any of the Avengers since. But, when Steve calls you for help after Bucky's cursed on a mission, it's up to you to save him from himself.





	No Such Thing

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is based loosely on [This Song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mZeDOXkM44c) and it's basically just pure angst, even if there is a happy ending lmao. Hope y'all enjoy it!

Two years. It’s been two years since I was last pulled in on an Avengers mission. Two years since I last saw him. Two years since he decided to pull away. Two years that I’ve wandered from city to city, pulling odd jobs and staying in motels, hoping that something, anything will stick. Nothing has.

I’m pulled from sleep by the sound of a ringtone that I haven’t heard since I left. It’s Steve. I stretch out one arm to grab my phone and hold it above my face, staring at the sleep blurred screen. It’s too bright and the sound is too loud. Too sharp. Too much.

I pick up the call just to stop the noise.

“What.”

_“(Y/N)?”_

“You know it’s me, Steve. What do you want?”

 _“We need your help,”_ he says. He sounds tired. _“Something’s gone wrong.”_

“Don’t you have a new team?” I ask, rubbing one hand over my forehead. “You’ve got an entire pantheon of people more powerful than me that can help you.”

_“That’s not what I mean, (Y/N).”_

“Then what do you mean, Rogers? Because it’s…” I trail off and squint at the alarm clock on the bedside table and groan. “It’s three in the fucking morning, Steve.”

_“Where are you?”_

“West coast, dumbass. Now tell me about whatever mission you’re trying to drag me into so I can turn you down and go back to sleep.”

_“It’s not a mission, (Y/N). It’s Bucky.”_

My blood runs cold. “What do you mean ‘it’s Bucky?’”

_“Someone fucked with his head on the last mission. Three days after we came back he started mumbling something about magic and death and then it escalated to hallucinations. I think… I think they forced him to watch you die.” I can practically hear him shake his head. “We’ve done everything we can, but whatever they did to him, Wanda can’t touch it with a ten-foot pole and Dr. Strange either can’t figure it out or can’t be bothered.”_

“I don’t know why you ever started working with that prick.”

_“I don’t have an answer for you, (Y/N). You’ve always been the better option, but Tony seems to like him, so he gets to stick around I guess.”_

I sigh and push myself up to sit against the headboard. I scrub one hand over my face and press my lips together. “I’ll be there tomorrow.”

_“You’ll help?”_

“You know I can’t just leave him like that. I’ve never been able to say no when it comes to Bucky.”

He sounds relieved.

“Don’t thank me yet. Is he upstate or in the city?”

 _“He’s at the tower. Been staying in…”_ He trails off and I know exactly what he’s tripping up on.

“Got it. Our old apartment.” I throw the covers back and shove my legs into the pair of sweatpants that lay discarded on the floor.

_“Tony hasn’t changed any of the security. You should still be cleared to get in.”_

“I’ll let myself in, then.” I push myself up off the bed. “Don’t beat yourself up over this, Steve. He has just as much a habit of getting himself into trouble as you do.”

He chokes out a laugh. _“Thanks. Might keep that in mind for next time.”_

“Good. And maybe make sure you’re supervising him and Clint when they next hang out. They’ve always been a bad influence on each other.”

_“Thank you, (Y/N). I mean it.”_

“Yeah, whatever. Just make sure he stays in one place till I can get to him.”

–

_“Hello, (Y/N).”_

“Hey, F.R.I.D.A.Y.” I look around the living space of the tower. “Is he still in the apartment?”

_“Yes, he hasn't moved much today.”_

“Has he eaten anything today?”

_“Not yet. He’s been pretty out of it. It seems that his condition is getting worse.”_

I nod and head for the kitchen. I slap together a sandwich and wrap it in a napkin. “Thanks, F.R.I.D.A.Y.. If he shows any signs of violence towards himself while I’m in there, I want you to call Steve.”

_“Of course.”_

I nod to myself and wander down the hall to the old apartment that Bucky and I had once shared. The building is still and nearly silent, save for the hum of electricity that races through the walls. Everything seems to fall away as soon as my hand is on the doorknob. The lock clicks open and I push on the door and slip inside.

Bucky sits in the window seat that overlooks the city. His hair is oily and hangs lank on the back of his neck and he doesn’t move. Doesn’t even twitch when the door closes behind me. There’s no acknowledgment of my presence whatsoever. I take a moment to look around the apartment. Everything is practically pristine, aside from the small pile of dirty clothes in one corner and the stacks of used bowls, plates, silverware, and cups on the dresser. I remember when we first moved into this apartment. He was so nervous, but I couldn’t contain my excitement. I felt like I had finally found someone who I could love without feeling as if I had to hold back. Now the apartment just feels cold.

Bucky shifts on the bench seat, pulling me out of my reverie. He still has his back turned to me, but a pillow has fallen to the floor. I sigh and cross the room, dropping my pack on the bed on my way over. I take a seat beside him and hold the sandwich out to him. He doesn’t seem to notice.

“F.R.I.D.A.Y. says you haven’t eaten anything yet today.” I take his hand and press the sandwich into it. “You gotta put something in that stomach of yours.”

His hand closes around the napkin and he blinks slowly before turning his head to look at me. He doesn’t seem to register that it’s me until I place my hand on his forearm. His breathing stutters and he looks like he may cry.

“(Y/N)?” he whispers.

I nod and tuck his hair behind his ear. “Yeah, sweetheart, it’s me. Can you eat something for me?”

Only then does he seem to notice the sandwich in his hands. He nods slowly as he unwraps it and meets my eyes when he takes a bite, seeking approval. I smile and lean back against the window to watch while he eats. When he turns his attention back to the skyline I push myself up and sit on the bed instead to rummage through my bag for a change of clothes. It’s a full two minutes before Bucky realizes I’ve moved and he begins to panic. Sweats in hand, I sit down beside him again and place my hand on his elbow.

“Where did you go?”

“I just needed something more comfortable to wear,” I hold up my sweats. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“You always hated wearing jeans.”

I nod. “Mhm.” I take his hand and gently guide him to the bed. “C’mon. You need some sleep.”

He nods and follows after me. He sits on the edge of the bed and watches me change my pants. I pull on a sweatshirt and tug back the duvet. Bucky follows my example and lays beside me. He immediately shuffles closer and curls into me with his forehead pressed against my chest. His hands find their way around my waist and he sighs.

“I know you’re not here,” he murmurs. His arms tighten around me. “But I’ll take what I can get.”

I wait till his breathing evens out and he’s fallen asleep to move my hands to his hair and comb my fingers through. I work out the tangles, noting the way his hands flex when I accidentally tug a little too hard. I catalog every small noise he makes when my fingers get caught.

“I’m here,” I whisper to his sleeping form. “I’m here, Bucky. I’m not gonna leave.”

–

“He’s almost completely nonverbal, Steve.” I watch the bathroom door for any sign of movement. Bucky may not believe that I’m actually here, but he might think I’m someone else entirely if he catches me on the phone. “So far he’s only talked to me when he was convinced that I wasn’t real. Last night he said he’d take what he could get when we went to bed. You should have called me sooner.”

_“It seemed like you wanted to be left alone, (Y/N). You practically dropped off the face of the earth a couple of months after you left.”_

“I just needed a little space from the team. I couldn’t be around him after what happened. I didn’t see any point in going back when you were getting on fine without me after a year. But with something like this… what the hell happened?”

_“We went up against a witch with some kind of vendetta against Bucky. I don’t know why she would go after him specifically, but we figured that if no one knew what to do that it might wear off after a few days like it’s done before.”_

“But you were wrong.”

_“We were wrong. So I called.”_

“I don’t know how quickly this can be solved,” I bite my lip. “I think I might be here for a while.”

_“That’s fine. Take all the time you need. Do you think you might need some help?”_

“Not yet. But maybe you should come for a visit in a couple of days. If the three of us spend some time together, it might show him that I’m actually here.”

_“Does he think you’re a ghost?”_

“I don’t know yet, but he definitely doesn’t think I’m real.”

_“Shit.”_

The water shuts off in the bathroom and that’s my cue to end the call. “I gotta go Steve.”

_“Let me know if you need anything.”_

“I will, Steve. Don’t worry too much.”

I end the call and slip my phone under my pillow. I lean back against the wall and crack open my book as Bucky comes out of the bathroom. He clutches a towel around his waist and shuffles over to the dresser to rummage around for a fresh pair of underwear and a pair of sweats that are slightly cleaner than the ones he was wearing earlier. He towels off and dresses quickly. He’s using the towel to squeeze water from the ends of his hair when he notices me.

I watch him over the top of my book as he tilts his head to the side. He’s trying to figure me out. Trying to understand what’s going on. It’s clear that he can’t fully process that I’m physically in the room.

“You’re looking a little more refreshed,” I say. I set my book to the side so he can see my face.

His back stiffens, but he nods slowly. He grabs a shirt and tugs it on over his head. He sits on the bench seat where he sat the day before, but his back is to the window this time. He regards me silently, watching my every movement. Cataloging every breath, every single twitch.

“I hear someone fucked with your head,” I say. “What happened?”

His brow furrows and he shrugs.

“Anything unusual?”

“I…” He bites the inside of his cheek. “You were there?”

“On the mission?” He shakes his head.

“No. At least, I don’t… I don’t think so. God… I hadn’t seen you for two years, then you were suddenly there.”

“What happened then, Buck?”

“You were sitting under a tree, and I tried to go talk to you. You seemed happy to see me, which was weird. I didn’t think about it. I was around fifty feet away when someone grabbed you from behind and pulled your head back and–and they slit your throat.” His shoulders hunch and he pulls his arms against his chest. “I couldn’t do anything to save you. When I got to you it was too late. I couldn’t stop the bleeding and… and you died in my arms.”

I launch myself from the bed and kneel down in front of him. He refuses to look at me.

“Bucky, honey, please,” I reach up and cup his face. “Nothing happened. Everything is fine.”

He shakes his head. “You died. It’s my fault. I couldn’t save you.”

“No, Bucky. I was in Oregon while you were on that mission. I’m completely fine.” I take one of his hands and press the tips of his fingers to my neck. “Feel that. All the way around. Tell me what’s there.”

He shakes his head and tries to pull away, but I hold tight.

“I can’t-”

“No, Bucky.” I guide his fingers along my neck. “Do you feel that? There’s no scar. No wound. I’m whole. I’m _fine_. I’m alive.”

His hand curls around mine and I reach up to brush away a couple of tears that are rolling down his cheeks. I cup his jaw and run my thumb over his cheek.

“Not dead,” he mumbles, more of a statement than a question.

I shake my head and place his hand over my heart. “No. Not dead. And I won’t be. Not for a long, long time.”

He sighs and closes his eyes. He balls up a handful of the front of my shirt and presses his forehead to mine. I tuck some of his hair behind one of his ears and pull him up from his seat. “Come on. You need to eat something.”

–

“You’re still here,” Bucky murmurs.

I crack one eye open when he starts pushing my hair back from my face. I sigh and try to push closer to his side.

“That’s because I’m real, Buck. No hallucinations here.”

“But you’re dead.”

I shake my head. “Not yet. It’s harder to get rid of me than that.”

His hand stills and I can tell I said the wrong thing. I prop myself up on one elbow and place my hand at the back of his neck.

“It wasn’t real. None of it was. I promise.” He doesn’t seem convinced. “How can I prove to you that I’m real?”

He shrugs. “Dunno. I guess there’s no way to prove that you _aren’t_ real.”

“That’s kind of profound.”

He snorts. “I never really figured out how to get you out of my head after we broke up. You were always just… there. Like you could reappear at any given moment.”

“I… you were the one who didn’t want me there in the end, Bucky.”

“I know.” He nods. “I know. And I regretted it the second you left.”

“Then why did you do it?”

“It was that night I saw you getting into bed, covered in bruises that you didn’t get from a mission or from sparring with Natasha. I knew it was my fault. That you got hurt when I had nightmares.”

“You know I heal quickly.”

“That doesn’t change the fact that I _hurt_ you, (Y/N). I never want to hurt the people I love. If that means I have to push them away, then I’ll do it.”

“But this right now is fine because I’m 'not actually here.'”

“Yeah.”

“No.”

“But-”

“I’m here, Bucky.” I reach up and give his ear a sharp tweak. He hisses and brings his hand up to rub at the reddening flesh. “Could a hallucination do that?”

“Probably not.”

“Cool. Then we’re getting somewhere.”

He shakes his head. “I don’t get why you’d want to help me in the first place. We didn’t end on good terms.”

“You think I didn’t know damn well what you were doing?” I scowl at him. “I quit the team because I didn’t want to make it harder on either of us by hanging around. But it’s not like I stopped caring about you. I wasn’t just going to leave you alone in your head.”

“I… okay.”

“Good.”

“It might be a while before I can remember you’re real.”

“That’s okay. We’ve got time.”

He nods. “Okay.”

–

“How long have you been here?”

“Four days,” I answer.

“Not dead?”

I shake my head. “No. Not dead.”

“Okay.” He bites the inside of his cheek. “Are you sure?”

“Just as sure as I was the last few times I told you,” I scribble a couple of lines in my notebook. “It looks like whatever happened to you resets your memory every morning.”

“Weird.”

“Mmm, yeah.” I set the notebook to the side. “Maybe that’s why you spiraled after it happened. Steve said he couldn’t really get through to you… Do you get headaches or anything?”

“No.”

“Okay, well that’s good.” I sit up and squint at him. “What do you think happened yesterday, if you can’t remember that I told you I was real?”

He shrugs. “I don’t know. It’s fuzzy. Kind of feels like I just slept through the day.”

I scowl. “That’s weird.”

“Maybe I’m just broken.”

“You’re not broken. You never have been. Someone just worked some kind of bullshit magic on you. That’s not your fault.”

“And before that, it was Nazi brainwashing and decades of assassinations.”

“Also, not your fault.”

“Arguable.”

“Good thing it’s not up for debate.”

He scowls, but still settles back into the pillows. He turns on his side, resting his head on my shoulder. My phone buzzes and Bucky doesn’t even bother hiding the fact that he’s looking when I check the message.

“Steve’s coming?”

“Yup,” I send Steve a confirmation message and place the phone on the bed next to me.

“Why?”

“I thought it might give your hazy brain some concrete proof that I’m real. But… based on the fact that your brain kind of resets every morning, I have no idea what the issue is anymore. Steve may not be able to help in the same way, but extra brain power wouldn’t hurt.”

He nods. “Sounds good.”

“You sound bummed, though.” He doesn’t look and me, and I frown. “Do you think I invited him here because I don’t want to be alone with you?”

“We broke up for a reason, (Y/N).”

“Not a good one, and that’s completely beside the point. I still like spending time with you, with or without other people around. That being said, you can’t just spend all of your time with me when your head is all fucked up.”

“I… I just don’t–I’m worried that I’ll still forget you, or that all of this work will be for nothing and that there’s no way to fix whatever the hell happened to me.” His arms circle around my middle and he pulls me against him. “I don’t want to lose you a third time.”

“You won’t. I’m not going anywhere until this is fixed.”

“But you’ll leave when it is?”

The pain in his voice settles like a stone in my gut. “Only if you want me to.”

–

“Thanks for coming, Steve.”

“I’m sorry I couldn’t be more help,” he says. “He seems to be doing better, though.”

“Mm, yeah,” I lean against the wall and look back at where Bucky is dozing on the couch. “It gets a little easier to explain what’s happening every day. It still sucks, but at least he understands that I’m here.”

“You think you might stick around after all of this?” Steve asks.

I shrug. “I told Bucky I would if he wanted me to. So I guess it depends on how he feels after everything’s over.”

“Sounds like a decision you should be making on your own.”

I scowl at him. “Fuck off.”

He laughs. “Look, I’m not tryin’ to force you to make up your mind right now, but we could use you back on the team.”

“Oh yeah, a practically indestructible magician is exactly what you want.”

“Not just because you’re good with magic-”

“It’s definitely a plus in your book though.”

“Yes, you’re incredible with disguise spells, but that’s not what I’m saying. You’re a skilled fighter and you can think on your feet. That kind of inherent talent isn’t something you can train into someone.”

“Flatterer.”

“Everyone misses you, too. You should hear the way Tony complains when he realizes he has to use actual cloaking tech.”

I snort. “I’ll consider it. Bucky’s my top priority though. Fixing whatever happened to him comes first.”

“Of course.” His gaze falls on Bucky. “I’m glad you’re here. He always did better with you around.”

“How so?”

“You never expected anything from him. Shoved aside anything bad he did without downplaying what happened in his past. You just… you just accepted him as he was, for who he is now.”

“Yeah, well… he accepted me without question. I’d be a hypocrite if I didn’t do the same.” Steve raises his eyebrows and I wave him off. “Nothing you have to worry about.”

“I’m going to.”

“Worry about Bucky instead,” I suggest. “It’s way more productive than speculating over what I may or may not have done.”

He frowns. “Alright. Are you sure you’re good here on your own?”

“What? Yeah, of course. I _like_ spending time with him, even if it is under these circumstances.”

Steve nods and pulls me into a hug. “Call me if you need anything, okay? I mean it.”

I snort and hug him back. “Sure thing, _dad_.”

“Ugh, don’t call me that. Peter did by accident the other day and it just felt wrong.”

“Did Tony get jealous?”

“I–yeah, a little, actually.”

I laugh and push him towards the door. “Okay, you should probably go. It’s getting late.”

“Goodnight, (Y/N),” he says. “Take care, Steve. Don’t get into too much trouble on the way back.”

“I’ll try, but I can’t promise that trouble won’t find _me_.”

I roll my eyes. “Just go. Tell everyone I say hi.”

He nods once, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth, and waves over his shoulder as he walks down the hall. I close the door once he turns the corner.

I lay down on the couch beside Bucky with my arms held tightly against my chest. I rest my head on his chest and allow myself to be calmed by the rhythm of his breathing.

“Did Stevie already leave?” Bucky asks groggily.

I nod and press closer to him. He turns on his side and pulls me against his chest. I can feel him laugh before I hear it.

“Maybe it’s time for bed,” he says.

“But you’re already here,” I whine. “I was just getting warm.”

“You know, you could do some kind of magic-y stuff and levitate yourself to the bedroom.”

“Ugh, but that’s so much _work_.”

“I’ll carry you then.”

“If you must.”

He scoops me up and carries me to the bedroom. I press my hand over his heart and rest my head against his chest, focusing on the steady pulsing beneath my fingers. He pulls the covers back and shuffles onto the bed without setting me down. When we’re fully settled, he pulls the covers up to my chin and presses a kiss to my forehead. I snuggle into his chest and Bucky sighs softly. My eyelids grow too heavy to keep open and I allow my eyes to close as I settle fully against Bucky.

“You have no idea what this means to me,” he whispers. He combs his hand through my hair. “You’re probably asleep… probably wouldn’t say this even if you were awake. But I’m glad you’re here. You’re so patient with me. I don’t deserve you.”

“Shut up,” I mumble. “I decide whether or not you deserve me, dumbass.”

“Oh?” he says. He’s completely still, even holding his breath.

“Yeah. And I’ve decided that you do. So stop worrying about it. Go to sleep. I’ll explain all of this to you again the morning.”

He laughs and holds me tighter. “Okay.”

“Goodnight, Bucky.”

“G’night, (Y/N).”

–

At some point in the night, I feel something prodding at the edge of my consciousness. I briefly woke up and looked around the room before snuggling closer to Bucky and shrug off the feeling. When the presence comes again, I’m too deeply asleep to stop the intrusion.

“You and the soldier seem to be quite close.”

I jerk awake and find that I’m in an open field. The edges of the blades of grass and the outlines of the trees off in the distance are blurry and poorly defined. The haggard figure that stands in front of me, however, is fully realized and corporeal. It dawns on me that, whoever they are, they must be the one who whammied Bucky.

“Why would you care?” I ask. “Why did you fuck with his head?!”

They shrug. “It seemed the thing to at the time. Clearly, it was the appropriate course of action.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?!” “Isn’t it obvious, you stupid girl?”

They cackle. “It’s got everything to do with _pain_. The pain when he sees you and remembers what he saw. The pain you feel when you realize he’s forgotten you again. That he thinks you’ve died. It’s _delicious_.”

Wind whirls around us, whipping my hair across my face. I can feel myself growing angrier with each word they say.

“ _Pain?!_ That’s why you’ve done this?”

“Oh, you should see what happens when I prod at the feelings surrounding your split from the soldier.” They sigh dreamily. “I would be a fool to pass all of this suffering on to someone else. It simply wouldn’t be right!”

In the blink of an eye, I’ve tackled them to the ground. I drive my fists into their face over and over until my knuckles are split and my hands are covered in their blood. Through it all, they smile and laugh as if this is the best thing that could have happened to them. I grab the collar of their molding cloak and haul them up close to my face.

“Why are you fucking with his head? Why are you still here?!” I yell and shake them. Their head lolls back and forth on their shoulders. “Answer me, dammit!”

They laugh. “It’s quite the fairytale, you idiot woman. The answer has been in front of your eyes the whole time!”

“You… what?!”

They cackle and break off into a coughing fit. “Ooh! It seems like you’ve bloodied up my projection quite nicely!”

“Stop talking nonsense! Give me a straight answer,” I hiss.

“If you truly care about your soldier, you’ll figure it out. Until then,” They grin, showing their bloodied teeth, and wiggle their fingers in farewell. “I’m afraid I must leave.”

They fade from the dreamscape, and I’m left kneeling in the grass with bloodied fists. I close my eyes and take several deep breaths. I can’t calm myself, but I can at the very least force myself to wake up. I link my hands together and focus on returning my consciousness to my own body.

I sit up in bed and press the heels of my hands to my eyes. Beside me, Bucky sleeps curled into himself, as small as he can make himself. I watch as his back moves with each breath and it slowly dawns on me what the Hag was trying to tell me. I reach out one hand to him but quickly pull it back against my chest. I can’t tell him. Not now.

I slip out of bed and shove my feet into a pair of slippers. I tug on a jacket as I head for the common room and snatch a throw blanket from the couch before jabbing the button for the elevator. I step out onto the roof. The cold air hits my skin and I feel myself relax a bit.

I curl up in one of the rocking chairs Tony set up four years ago. The wood creaks each time the chair moves. The sound is soothing, but I can’t get the witch’s words out of my head.

They said that this is a fairytale. That the answer has been right in front of me this entire time. If that were true, then why haven’t I been able to figure it out? It’s nearly been a week, and I’ve just barely come to understand the reset Bucky goes through every morning. If I really were clever enough…

I shake my head and stare out over the city. If it truly were a fairytale, then there’s only one way to fix this, and that sort of thing doesn’t exist.

“Y’know, if you stay out here too long, you’re gonna catch a cold.”

I look over my shoulder. Bucky stands in front of the elevator doors in baggy sweatpants, a grubby shirt, and a nearly worn through robe. I nod and look back out at the skyline.

“I needed somewhere to think. This place used to work really well when we still lived here.”

Bucky takes a seat in the chair next to me. “Think about what?”

“I’m not leaving you, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

He shakes his head. “I’m not, actually.”

“Okay,” I nod and pull the blanket tighter around me. “Good.”

“You didn’t answer the question, though.”

“Oh, right.” I shake my head. “Sorry…”

“What’s wrong?”

“I think I met the witch who messed with your head.”

“I know.”

“You… what?”

“I could feel you. I think you ended up in my head somehow. You were angry and I tried to get to you but… no matter how hard I pushed, something held me back.”

“It must have been their spell.”

“Maybe.”

I turn in the chair so that I can look at him directly. I rest my cheek on the back of the chair.

“So I was in your head?”

He nods. “Yeah.”

“Weird.”

“A little, yeah.”

“They said that the solution was like a fairytale. That, if I _truly_ care about you then I’d be able to figure out how to fix this.”

“Fairytale?”

“Mhm.”

“Maybe… maybe they assume that true loves kiss or some shit like that can solve this.”

“That-that’s not a real fix, though.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“I’ve been studying magic most of my life. I think I’d know if true loves kiss could break a spell or… or, _fuck_ , that’s it, isn’t it?” I close my eyes and rub my temples. “That is so _stupid_.”

“Well… it _is_ magic.”

“Yeah, well, I hate magic.”

“Is that why you don’t use it anymore?”

My eyes snap open and lock onto Buckys. “No. That’s not why.”

“Would it be too much to ask why?”

I sigh and shake my head. “No, it’s fine. I don’t really use it anymore because I don’t really see a need. I used to do something good with it. I was an Avenger. I helped people. Now I move to a new town every four months and hope I don’t get recognized. For me, the–the _joy_ is gone from it.”

“I get it.”

I smile sadly at him. “I don’t know if you do, but I appreciate the sentiment.”

He snorts and shakes his head. “You’re kind of blind when it comes to yourself, you know that right?”

“Well, that makes two of us. You broke up with me because you thought you were hurting me.”

“Wasn’t I?”

“I guess sometimes you might have held me a little too tight in the middle of a nightmare, but barely any of those bruises were your fault.”

“I… what?”

“Bucky, I bruise like a peach. Look,” I shove up my sleeves and show him the bruises on my forearms. “ I got these because I leaned on the counter a little too hard yesterday. And then I’ve got a shitton on my legs from bumping into stuff because I don’t always watch where I’m going.”

“But–”

“I’ve got an iron deficiency,” I cut in. “I didn’t take any supplements while we were together and I got my ass kicked regularly on missions and by complicated spells, so I was bruised all the time, but I still healed just as fast.” Bucky opens and closes his mouth, but can’t seem to find the right words. “You never let me explain myself when you decided to break up with me. You had already decided that you were going through with it.”

“Why didn’t you stop me?”

I reach out and take his hand. “I knew I couldn’t make the decision for you, especially when your agency was superseded for seventy-some-odd years. After a year… I figured that if we were meant to be together, then we’d somehow find our way back.”

“Maybe this was it, then.”

“I feel like cursing you is a fucked up way for the universe to pull us back together.”

“Can’t disagree with you there.”

I laugh and press the back of my hand to my mouth to muffle it. “This is so fucked up. You don’t deserve any part of this.”

“But maybe we deserve a second chance,” Bucky murmurs.

“You want that?” I ask.

“Of course I do, (Y/N), I just…” He trails off and sighs. “For me, there was no such thing as getting over you.”

“Bucky…”

He looks away. “The question is whether or not you still feel the same.”

I reach out and cup his face. “Bucky, look at me.” His eyes drag back up to meet mine. I run my thumb over his cheekbone. “I am still very much in love with you.”

He opens his mouth, but nothing comes out. Instead, he leans across the arm of the chair. I meet him in the middle and our lips press together in a chaste kiss. Bucky sighs and his lips soften under mine when I move my hand to the back of his neck. He tentatively kisses me again, a little more confident this time, and makes a soft noise at the back of his throat when I kiss him back. Bucky pulls back suddenly and presses one hand to his forehead with a hiss.

“Bucky?”

He shakes his head. “I think it’s gone but…”

“Post curse headache?” I ask.

He huffs out a laugh and nods. “Kind of.”

“Let me help.”

I place my hands on either side of his head and focus on his pain. There’s never been any specific spell for this, but I’m able to take away some of what he’s feeling through sheer force of will. After a moment, his shoulders relax and he rests his forehead on my shoulder.

“Maybe you should start using magic again,” he says.

I laugh. “Maybe. But only if I’m helping someone.”

“Like you just helped me?”

“I guess.” I tuck some of his hair behind his ear. “Maybe I just like helping you.”

“Steve mentioned that you’ve got a soft spot for me.” I push him away and he laughs. “Aw, come on! It can’t be that bad! You just told me you love me!”

“For that, I might just take it back! Maybe fall into being a nomad again instead of hanging around where I’m not appreciated.” I turn my face away and fold my arms.

Bucky gently takes my face in his hands and turns it to face him. He presses feather-light kisses all over my face and I scrunch up my nose when he moves to my neck.

“Staying would be so much easier,” he murmurs against my ear.

I lean back and look at him. His entire demeanor begs me to make a different decision.

“Being with you would be even easier than that,” I admit.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

He smiles and presses his forehead against mine. “I told you I’d stay after all this was over if you wanted me here.”

“And I do,” he says.

“And now I have a reason to.”

He pulls away, a soft smile pulling at the corners of his mouth. He presses a soft kiss against my lips but pulls away when I shiver.

“Should we go back inside?” he asks.

I laugh and nod. “Probably.”

Bucky tucks me under his arm and I lean into his side the entire elevator ride back down to the apartment. We scurry back to the bedroom and crawl under the covers. Bucky pulls me against him and rests his head against my chest, his ear directly over my heart. We lay there and let the covers warm around us, afraid that if we break the silence something else might shatter along with it. Instead, Bucky wraps his arms more possessively around me, and I card my fingers through his hair. He hums softly and relaxes against me.

“Are we going to be okay?” he asks softly.

I nod and shimmy down the bed so I can look at him. His eyes flit over my face and I smile before leaning in and brushing my lips over his in a barely there kiss.

“We just have to take it one day at a time. We’ll figure things out. Okay?”

He nods and kisses me again. “Okay.”

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback is what keeps the writing wheel turning, so kudos and comments are more than welcome! I wanna know what you guys think!


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